I Made A Promise

I'M BACK BABY!  Last night it hit me, like a ton of bricks!  I had made a promise to Nathan and I was no longer keeping it.

When I lost my first 20 lbs, Nathan said to me that he couldn't wait until I got skinny.  I asked why, thinking he would say that he wanted to run and play and have me be more active with him.  He turned to me and said that when he hugs me that he wants his arms to reach all the way around me and to have his fingers touch.  He was being his sweet 8 year old self, honestly telling me his want.  It broke my heart and inspired me all at once.  I promised him that this would happen, that nothing was going to get in the way of the best finger touching hug ever!

I was doing it.  I lost 90 lbs and while there were trials and tribulations in there, my goal was a part of me.  I did not cheat with bad food.  I went cold turkey on potato chips.  I went to the gym 5 days a week and worked my schedule around my gym time.  I was succeeding.  Nathan would do a hug check every so often and then one day his hands were closer than they had ever been.  We were getting there, we were close!

Then September 24, 2012 happened.  I had a horrible injury at the gym.  I broke bones in my foot, I ripped tendons, muscles and ligaments from my bones, my ankle separated with nothing to hold it together.  I naively thought I could get a boot from the Dr and carry on, not missing a beat.  That was not even close to being what happened.  I was told I had the worst injury I could have and the injury I had was the worst of the worst.  I was going to need surgery; titanium pins, rods and screws.  I was going to be on bed rest for a long long time.  Recovery was going to be long.  I broke down and started weeping right there in the Dr's office.  This couldn't be.  I had just found my MOJO again and now I was going to spend months in bed.  Not using my right foot at all.  The foot that throbbed if you looked at it, the foot that was the size of a football.

 I was crushed.  I will skip the steps it took to get me to today and walking again.  It was a long and dark period.

It is as good as it gets.  That's what the surgeon told me.  He was happy with my progress, saying this was as good as it gets.  My bones knitted.  Knitted a little off center.  My toes are missing pieces of bones.  My ankle is tight and stiff.  I can feel a rainstorm 3 days before it hits.  My foot still gets tired.  I am grateful to be walking.  Grateful for no surgery.  I was only able to tie my sneaker last month because the swelling went down enough.  It is as good as it gets.

Fast forward to August 2, 2013 and I was looking at some pictures I had on my computer and saw my strong self.  The self that was losing weight, walked taller, stronger than I have ever been in my life, feeling great about myself and my progress.

 I then saw some pictures of Nathan and that is when it hit me.

I was not keeping my promise to him.  I had let my injury take from me something so important.  Take something so important from Nathan.  I realized that he still hugs me all the time, but there is no exciting finger touching checks.  I had let injuries become excuses, limitations become road blocks, let fear become avoidance.  Bad eating and riding the couch had become the norm.

Then I had my light bulb moment, my ah ha moment last night. Yes, I am not as strong as I was, I may never be able to do a plank again, my stamina and endurance sucks, my desire for the gym was nil, I gained weight back and I didn't care.  NONE OF THAT MATTERS!!  True, I am not as strong as I was a year ago, I am stronger than I was 2 years ago.  My first plank lasted all of 5 seconds 2 years ago.  My last plank a year ago was 1 minute and 20 seconds! Even with the weight gain, I don't weigh what I weighed 2 years ago.

What matters is my promise to Nathan.  I made a promise and I am keeping that promise.  I am starting from today, August 5, 2013.  Not 2 years ago.  Not September 24, 2012.  The past is the past and there is not a damn thing I can do about it.  I will make today matter.  I will make good choices for today.  Today I matter.  Today I will keep my promise to Nathan.

I LOVE YOU NATHAN AND OUR FINGER TOUCHING HUG IS BACK ON TRACK

If I give up now, then what was the point of everything?

These last 6 months have sucked! SUCKED BIG TIME!

When I was injured back in September 2012, who knew that 6 months later I would still be fighting to get my mojo back?  Not only has it been a physically frustrating 6 months, it has been enormously hard emotionally as well.  I feel myself slipping away from what my goals were, still are.  I had lost 80 ish lbs when I was injured and now I believe I have gained 20, dare I say 30 lbs back over these 6 months.  My eating habits suck, my motivation is nil, my healthy attitude gone!  How the hell did this happen?  I was supposed to be fighting to lose the last of my weight at this stage, to be toning up?

Nathan has his 5th grade graduation in less than 2 months.  I was supposed to be rocking the new me.  I am not even at the 80 ish lbs gone me anymore!  I am hating this.  How do I get back to my work our routine?  How do I find a new routine?  I have joined a new gym for various reasons and while it works, it is not my old comfortable gym stomping grounds.  I miss my old machines, my routine there, the comfort level.  I enlisted my husband to go with me, and he is a great motivator to get up and get going in the am as he is a real morning person (bastard :) ).  Summer will be here soon and then before I know it, my brother is getting married NYE 2013.  I am supposed to be looking fierce then.

 How do I find the mindset to go from depression of mojo lost to fierce in 9 months.  I once had it, I didn't have to find it, it found me.  I made promises to Nathan, to myself.  I want to keep those promises, to feel better, to look better, to be better.  How do I get there?  I am still afraid to go balls to the wall like I used to for fear of making my foot worse.  I can't do any weight bearing exercises and am limited to upper body.  Yeah, I know, poor me, only being able to work out the upper body. I just don't feel like myself anymore.  The pre injury Kelly that would and could do anything to the hobbled Kelly that I am not a fan of.

I have the tools, the skills, the want, the need, the desire.  I just flat out feel like a failure.  I loved when people would tell me looking good, you inspire me, way to go, honk their horns when I was out walking.  I miss that and with the way I feel and look, all of that is gone.  I can't walk like I did, I don't look like I did.  I don't feel like I did.  In addition to feeling like I am on a slide backwards with no way off, I also have to re-lose the weight I gained.  Talk about a fast track to the bottom of the barrel.

Maybe getting this off my chest will help.  Maybe if I put it out there, the universe will send me my inspiration.  Maybe seeing this in black and white will get me off my ass and motivate me.  Maybe, maybe, maybe.  I want a definitive!  I want my mojo back!  can you hear me? I WANT MY MOJO BACK!!  I WANT TO GIVE A DAMN AGAIN!!  I WANT TO SUCEED!!

As Good As It Gets

It has been a long almost 4 months. Really, really, really long! I had my Dr appointment today to see how my injured foot has healed.  I have come so far, and am eagerly awaiting good news.  Please let it be good news!  I need it to be good news!  I need to get my new years commitments underway, and I mean now.  I have such a good feeling about today that I put my right foot sneaker in the car, the sneaker I haven't seen for 4 months.

My appointment was for 9 am and apparently everyone hurt themselves over the weekend and I was not called back until about 9:45.  I was so nervous when they called my name, my heart was just about beating out of my chest. I walked back to the exam room and answered the usual questions and gleefully took off my boot, ready for the Dr to pronounce me ready to hit the gym.
The Dr comes in and asks how it feels.  I tell him that it is stiff and tires easily, however it feels great!  The only pain I have is where he had to slice my foot open to drain it.  He laughs and says I probably want to punch him.  I tell him it is a double edge sword.  I am so grateful for what he has done to help me and yet I am not a fan of the pain of the nerves trying to find their partner and reconnect.  He asks me if I can stand on it and I say that I no longer wear the boot for 3 am bathroom trips and standing in the shower is now safe.  He asks me to stand on it and I gleefully leap up from the exam chair and proudly stand on my foot.  He tells me I need to have some x- rays and they will be in in a minute for me. I am beaming.  They come to get me and I walk, yes walk to the x-ray room.  This is a far cry from the wheelchair I needed to get there, where it hurt to just look at my foot.  I gladly apply pressure to my foot for the x-rays.  I skillfully change direction and positions with my foot.  I am on cloud 9. (Not to mention that when they gave me a "belt" with a lead cape to wear around my waist for protection from possible pregnancy <the Virgin Mary has a better chance of being pregnant than me>, it went around my waist and even had extra when fastened.  This would not have happened all those pounds ago).  I walk back to my exam room and wait.  I can hear the Dr in the hall, here he comes...Damn, went next door.

In walks the Dr and he is smiling.  Could it be?  Am I ready to be bootless? Can I now wear matching shoes? Can I move my seat back to my original comfy position when I drive?  Can I go to the gym.  He pulls up my x-rays and we look at them.  He is happy with them.  The pinky toe has knitted nicely, albeit it with a huge chunk of bone missing.  He says that since the bones are arched, the weight bearing part will be fine.  The toe next to the pinky toe has also knitted nicely and there is a much smaller chunk of bone missing.  The bone didn't line up perfectly, however he is happy with it.  He says I don't have to see him anymore, this is as good as it gets.  He laughs and says, I know you love me, but we are done.  I sputter and then grin.  Grin like a Cheshire Cat.  I ask about going to the gym and he tells me that I can go.  NO weight bearing exercises, NO squats (damn...NOT), and NO CALF RAISES! The calf raises were the exercise that cost me these 4 months.  I said I don't see me doing calf raises until I am about 104 years old. I am so happy.  The Dr said since my foot is still so stiff, I can transition slowly from boot to sneaker.  He said if I am going to be shopping at Costco for a few hours, to wear the boot. Take it easy and if in 3-4 months it is not better, come back and see him.  As wonderful and as appreciative I am of him and all his help to get me to this point, I never want to see his office again.  If I should see him while I am out walking it matching shoes, that is a whole other story.

I practically float out of the office and skip to my car, skip as well as one can in a boot that doesn't let your foot bend.  I hop in the car and sit there for a few minutes truly appreciating the news I just got.  I went back over the last 4 months in my mind.  The devastation of possible surgery, the depression, the anger, the being on bed rest for 3 months, the pain, oh god the pain, the immobility, the anger from my husband, the not being able to take my son to school, my wonderful friend Judi that stepped in to get Nathan back and forth to school for months, the halting of my gym workouts, the not eating well, the whole horrible, ugly, painful, depressing, 4 months.  I am so grateful that those months are behind me, that I now can start looking forward again.  I have so many plans for this year and now I can start making those plans happen.

Thursday January 9th, 2013 is the day I pick up where I left off.  I hope you will all come along with me on my journey.

I am not making resolutions for 2013. Or any other year for that matter.

For the last few days, I have been gearing up for the start of the new year, trying to come up with resolutions that will help me in the year to come.  I was having a hard time finding resolutions that "fit" me.  I then decided I wasn't going to make resolutions. I am going to make life commitments. Resolutions are what you say your are going to do.  Resolutions set me up for failure. Commitments are things to be worked on, on a daily basis.

This are my commitments to myself and everyone else (in no particular order):

• Being the best me that I can be
• Being kinder to myself
• Making the best choices I can in the moment
• Don't berate myself over said choices. It's done, move on
• Count  my blessings
• Share my blessings
• Be grateful for my blessings
• Accept that I will be wrong AND make mistakes
• Eat more green things
• Say nice things about others
• Choose to be happy
• Move every day
• Smile
• Get out of my comfort zone
• Forgive and move on
• Make a difference
• Listen more, talk less
• I am a work in progress

2013 will be a year to continue to work on my promise to Nathan.  I promised and am committed to achieving my weight loss goal.  I did so well in 2011 and then 2012 knocked me down every chance it had.  I also played into the bad set of circumstances because it was easy to go with the flow.  I felt defeated and run over.  The foot injury was a horrible blow for me.  I had just found my mojo again and was going gangbusters at the gym.  When the Dr told me that I might need surgery and would be on bed rest for months, I let out a horrible cry and burst into tears and cried huge ugly tears.  The man setting my cast told me over and over it would be ok, hugged me and told me that I will get there and that I am a strong, beautiful woman (I didn't believe him).  Why me? Why now?  I have come so far and now this huge roadblock is in front of me.  After literally spending 2 months in bed, not using my right foot, I was defeated.  I thought I would rebound in 2 weeks and start exercising at home.  I tried.  I couldn't.  My foot was so bad.  It hurt to not have it raised.  It was a pain in the ass to get out of bed.  To go to the bathroom.  To take a sponge bath.  To get comfortable in bed.  I ate snacks in bed, there were no meals.  I tried to cook, but I couldn't stand and even with the scooter only cooked less than 5 times.  I was miserable, depressed, defeated and just plain ole gave up.  I go back in a week to see the progress of my foot and with the Dr's OK, I will be looking for a new gym and am going to work back up to where I was.  It will be frustrating, because I know what I was able to do and where I am now.  That's OK (kind of, sort of).  I have to start somewhere.  I will just put one foot in front of the other and make it happen.  I realized timeframes for losing weight and changing ones life is futile and served no purpose other than to make me feel bad.  

So my dear sweet Nathan, here it is.  I promise you that in 2013 you will be able to hug me and your arms will go all the way around me and your fingers touch.  I promise you that I will not let either of us down.  You will not have a fat Mom all of your life.  I promise.  

I love you my sweet boy.

I'm Baaaaaack!!

I had such high hopes heading into 2012.  My weight loss was doing wonderfully, down about 90 lbs and then I did that stupid vegan cleanse that I posted about and well, it sucked.  I rebounded and then almost decapitated my thumb.  Rebounded again and then September 24th I had a horribleincident at the gym (If I had stayed home on FB and ate milk and cookies this never would have happened) and broke a few bones in my foot, ripped all the ligaments, muscles and tendons in my ankle.  I was lucky that my Dr is the one of the top 2 guys here in New Mexico.  He told me that I 95% needed surgery and could not be on my foot for months and must stay in bed with my foot elevated.  I was devastated, crushed, defeated.  For 8 weeks, I hopped everywhere on my left foot, (about 1,800 hops a day) and my core got quite the workout.  I went back each week and they gave me a new cast because my foot was too swollen to put a permanent on it.  The Dr said it was looking good and on my 3rd ish visit with him, surgery was no longer on the table.  I never let my foot touch the ground (not to mention that if it was lowered, the pressure brought me to tears) and took Arnica. I won't even go into the slicing of my foot to drain it, and the 6 shots of Lidocane that did NOT numb my foot.  I tried going 2 weeks without pain meds, and then finally I was given a script for Vicodin 2 at a time 4x a day (the injury was the worst of the worst I could have) and I only took about 1/2 of that. I graduated to a scooter that I knelt on and wheeled about.  The freedom was wonderful, but my leg rebelled every time it was wasn't elevated for longer than 10 minutes, getting in and out of high vehicles was an exercise in frustration, humility, laughter and inappropriate touching. I have now been in a space boot for about 5 weeks that allows me to walk.  I have to strap 6 velcro straps and then pump it up.  I am able to drive now, but have to take boot off because my foot doesn't bend in the boot.  So if I drive, I strap in, pump up, walk to car, deflate, unstrap and put on a sandal. If I want to get out of the car, I have to take off sandal, strap em up and inflate.  Try going on errands with me...oy  I did 10 stops one day and was worn out.  At least I didn't have the hole in my shorts that day and flash everyone every time I bent over to put my boot on and off. :)  I go back in a week to see how my foot is.  My bones separated a bit, however I will still be able to pound on the treadmill and do my squats. Good thoughts please.

My food bank is going gangbusters!!  I have renamed it Generous Hearts and registered it with the IRS with an EIN#.  The name is courtesy of JPT from a sampler that she made when she was a young girl.  A full cupboard bespeaks a generous heart. (Did I get that right Julia?). A few months ago, I was asked if Generous Hearts would be willing to be filmed and then the video shown to donors.  I said YES!  I always do anything I can to help further ending hunger.  The video, not including the outside/farm parts is about 90% Generous Hearts and I am so proud of it.  The blond single mom is from my distribution (among a few of the others).  Here is the linkhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsYaP2jjnrE&feature=youtu.be.  When I started this a little over 2 years ago, I had 5 people show up, last month we fed 708 people!  I have huge plans for Generous Hearts.  I am also going to have a "Home Goods" type of give away with clothing, pots, pans, blankets, small appliances and then bring in the free mobile medical care and hopefully add another elementary school.  Then hopefully have a 10 ton distribution at the parks this summer once a month where they have the free breakfast/lunch programs. 

My brother just got engaged 3 days ago and is getting married NYE 2013 in Philadelphia and it is going to be a nighttime elegant wedding.  My goal is to get back on track eating and going to the gym in anticipation of the wedding and life.  I think I have gained about 12-15 lbs since being on bed rest and getting lazy.  My smaller clothing still fits, so I am very relieved and not going to stress it. I am going to start blogging again athttp://mylifeat120wpm.blogspot.com/?zx=7e6996823add136e to keep myself on track and have a most amazing year documented.  Nathan is my inspiration and I made a promise to him, and I am never going to break that promise.  It has taken me longer than I anticipated, but it is going to happen.  Nathan said he couldn't wait until I got skinny, so that when he hugged me, his arms went all the way around me and his fingers touched.  When I started this, his arms went maybe halfway around me, we are now 3-4" from them touching. I still have at least 100 lbs to lose, possibly 125 lbs.  I know, and I have already lost 90ish!  I was out of control, so out of control.  

I am in for the eating from the pantry for the month of January. Some of you might recall I did a similar challenge last year and all the chaos that ensued.  I however am game again. Before reading of the challenge I decided to bake today.  I made rice krispy treats with a 1/2 bag of marshmallows and a few cups of snap crackle pop.  I made apple turnovers with wrinkly apples (had to peel them anyway), made banana muffins with my black frozen bananas, 3 huge containers of fudge to use up some chocolate in the freezer.  I added heath bits and marshmallows to different batches.  I also have been making my sons, husbands and husbands helper lunch everyday for the past few months.  Hubby stopped taking lunch because the other guy wasn't bringing his.  I was fed up with them eating drive thru crap and $20 a day.  I said I would make his lunch too.  I did buy new thermoses for food and big one for hot beverages.  I now pack soups, hot chocolate, coffee, homemade goodies, fruits, veggies/dip, sandwiches, hard boiled eggs, pasta salads for all 3 every day. I do believe I can make 3 lunches a day, dinner for 3 and breakfast for 2 for the next month with what I have in my pantry.  My only exceptions are for me.  I don't eat meat and eat much cleaner than hubby and son.  I will get fresh fruits and veggies once a week, (and rolls for sandwiches) for me to stay on plan with eating well and juicing.  Everything else I have and can make.

Kelly

Being the best me that I can.

Week Two Off To a Great Start

Here I am, having survived week one of the Gym.  I am here to report that even with missing a day at the gym, and having pizza and a DQ ice cream nutterbutter bar, and not working out this weekend, I have lost weight!  I was getting dressed for the gym this morning and I remembered that I was going to weigh myself once a week.  I was not really looking forward to this weigh in because of the cheat day and also because I ate salt last night.  Salt makes my ankles swell and I retain as much water as the Hoover Dam.  I was still a tad bloated this morning and made the Michelin Man look like a size 2.  I got my scale out, tapped it to fire it up, and then stepped on, dreading what I might find.  I did not want to be disappointed with my first weeks results, and then feel bummed all this week about it.  I stepped on, held my breath and looked down to see if this would be a good week or a beat myself up week.  It is a good week!  I lost 10.5 pounds, let me type that again.  I lost 10.5 pounds!!!  I was (and still am) very pleased with myself and the effort I put forth.  I finished getting dressed with a little pep in my step.

I drop Nathan off at the sitters and head to the gym with a very positive attitude!  I get to the gym and the parking lot is packed! I mean packed, not a parking spot to be found!  The first thought that popped into my head was that I should just go home, because if the parking lot is full, the gym will be full too.  If I was a tiny size, I would love to sashay around the very full gym, however being the full figured gal I am, I was a little intimidated  and almost talked myself into going home.  I bargained with myself to drive around the parking lot one more time for a space and if there was not one, I would go home.  I had almost completed my circle when I saw some reverse lights, stopped and put on my blinker.  I parked, gave myself a pep talk, got my stuff and headed in.  I am so glad I stayed, the gym was not packed, there were people in classes, and it was the best workout I think I have had!

I jumped on the treadmill (one opened as soon as I approached them) and got my groove on.  I walked at a 7 incline at 2.2 and 2.4 mph for 65 minutes, with my heart rate staying between 150 and 154 the entire time!  This is a HUGE improvement from just a week ago when I was walking at about flat and a 2 incline and 1 and 1.2 mph with mini hop off breaks in the 30 minute time period I walked.  I did have to stop once today,  because as I mentioned in an earlier posting, I can not walk and drink water at the same time.  I was so thirsty and so so sweaty!  I realized that even with that 10 second hop off break, it affected my treadmill mojo.  I am going to have to learn to walk and drink, I can talk and type, so how hard can this be?

Last week I added a single extra rep to each exercise, making each machine total 105 reps by the end of the week.  Well I decided that I would start this week with 110 reps on each machine and them add one each day, ending with 115 on Friday.  Come next Monday, I will stay at 115 reps and add 5 lbs more to my arm exercises and 10 more to my leg exercises.  That is the game plan, however I am going to play it by ear.  I worked my arms hard today and totally wanted to stop on this new machine I tried, and after 20 reps, I almost did.  I had another pep talk with myself and said that I was not leaving this machine until all 110 reps were done, no matter how long it took!  This machine was where you sit down and lift your arms straight in the air, one at a time with weights on a pulley type rope.  It was torture for me!  It was hard and I so wanted to not finish it!  I made a rule with myself that I must stay at the machine (any machine) until I am done and the reps have to be done in sets of 10, no if ands or butts! Yes, I can even be a bitch to myself...lol.  Well it took me about 8 minutes to do 115 reps, however I did it!  I was again proud of myself for sticking with it!  I normally would have made myself do 115 reps on each arm, however I did not use this machine at all last week, and it is by far the hardest for me for my arms.  I did another arm rep one and I must have been on a workout high as I did 120 reps on each arm....I just kept going and going and now I can so feel it  (am using my nose to type...lol)!    So I worked out for a solid 2 1/2 hours, and worked out HARD!  I went to my last arm machine before I had to go get Nathan.  My arms were like Jello, however I was going to do this!  I set my weight and did 10 reps and my arms were just physically spent!  I told myself that I was not leaving until I did 115 reps, so I removed 10 lbs and finished it, so very glad that this was it.  My arms were shaking when I was done, and again I was proud of myself for making myself suck it up and just do it!

My sitter is not going to be able to watch Nathan for a week in June and about 10 or so days in July.  He is too old for the toddler room and too young to stay by himself, so I was wondering how I was going to solve this, as I really do not want to miss 20 or so days of working out.  Then I remembered that the gym opens at 4:30 am.  Is it possible to work out while still sleeping?  I figure that I can still get in my 2 1/2 hours and be home just in time for Hubby to leave for work.  Not my favorite option, however it is very doable and that is what I am going to do!  Call me Nike, just do it!

Today was awesome!!!

I went to the gym with a new/renewed sense of what my goal is and had a GREAT workout!  I got on a treadmill first thing, no waiting!  It would not let me do the goal setting that I have been using, so I had to try something else and it was even better! The first 2 days on the treadmill, I had a few hills to go up and down and I took many 10 second breaks on the side of the treadmill while going up hill.  Today I did 65 minutes (double the first 2 days) with a bathroom break (note to self, not so much water before I hit the gym...lol) at the 30 minute mark and I set the incline to 7-8 and walked at 2.0 mph.  I did not stop for a few seconds on the side of the treadmill, I just lowered the incline a bit.  I was determined not to stop today and succeeded at my goal!  I also was next to this very nice lady on one side and we talked for about 25 minutes, I was a bit winded, but I could talk.  The woman on the other side of me told me I did a good job for sticking with it and patted me on the shoulder.  It was a good treadmill day!  I learned that I could walk and talk, I however can NOT walk and drink, not at all.  I opened my water bottle and I did manage to take the smallest sip and the rest of my water wound up all over the front of my shirt.  I am not counting it as a total loss, as it was a nice refreshing cool down for a minute.

I was sweating so much today!  I did 100 reps on all machines and have decided to add 1 extra rep each day, so it was actually 101 reps on all machines today.  I am also adding 1 new machine each day so that I try all of them and see what I really like and what I will have to come back to, when I have a tad more confidence in looking so silly by standing on one leg and swinging the other back and fourth while my backside shakes and shimmies for all to see.  It is a work in progress.  I was so tired on my last arm machine, that when I got to to 20 I so wanted to give up!  It took me 3x's as long to do my 100 reps on this machine, but at each 10 count, I rested my arms for a minute and I did 101 reps on that machine.  I finished it, even though I so wanted to give up.  I like the feeling of accomplishment and pushing through even though every muscles in my arms were screaming, screaming nasty names to me....lol

I do have to find a larger water bottle.  Between the spillage and just gulping it down, I was really thirsty today.  Yes there is a water fountain, however I have seen what people are doing at the water fountain....lol.  I saw a few guys with old gallon milk jugs and while I am not quite ready to guzzle a gallon of water in 2 hours, I definitely need a larger one than my 12 oz size.

I noticed people carrying around small towels with them, and if you don't have one, the gym will "rent" you a small one for $.25 and a large one for $.50....just ewwww.  So I see these people wiping down their machines, before and after they use them.  That would be really great, except you are just swishing the sweat around and moving sweat from one machine to the next.  I also saw these very same people throw their towels on the floor after they wiped the machine before they used it and then picking the towel off the dirty sweat soaked (among SO many other things) floor and then wipe the machine down after they use it.  In what world does this work?  I am a bit (well a HUGE) germaphobe and if I think about this, or watch this any longer, I will never set foot in there again.  I have ordered horse blinders and a plastic bubble that should hopefully be here by Monday so I can exercise germ free and not see things I wish I had never seen in the first place!  Did I mention people also blow their noses in these towels, wipe their oh so sweaty parts...the same towels they are wiping the machines down with?  I sure hope I checked expedited shipping!

Can't wait for tomorrow!  Have a good one all!

I fell off the wagon

I had such good intentions when I went to bed last night! I did not give into my potato chip cravings (and they are fierce!) I went to bed and did not sleep well at all, waking wide awake every half hour! I got up this morning with a call from my husband, who was on the couch in the den. He has had a horribly painful case of gout since Monday afternoon and has been on the couch so I do not accidentally hurt his leg while sleeping. He asked me to get him something to eat as he had just taken a pain pill and it would upset his empty stomach. For Rick to take a pain pill it is serious. He drove himself to the hospital in the middle of the night once after suffering for 3 days with a kidney stone attack, never even letting on that he was in pain. He has sliced his lip with a saw that slipped when he was working and was just going to put electrical tape on it, until a guy that works for him drove him to the ER. I was so sore that it took me a bit to get the "courage" to sit upright and get out of bed...lol. I decided to call Nathan's sitter and tell her that I would be staying home with Rick in case he decided to go to urgent care (but did jokingly offer her double if I could drop Rick off too....lol). To be honest it was a cop out. I could have gone, I went yesterday when he was on the couch. It was just that an "excuse presented itself and I leaped at it.



I was berating myself all day for not going to the gym (on only my 3rd day at this new goal) and reading emails from the Compact when another member was berating herself for what she felt she had not lived up to. I was right there along side of her, having a pity party for myself for "failing" in what I set out to do. Then came the email that changed my perspective and my attitude. I am going to copy the email and give Julia all the credit and thanks!



Julia wrote: I think we should have a Compact rule -- maybe martial law or something with mandatory jail time -- about saying "I'm a f------." Normal people make mistakes. No one's perfect. Change is hard.

Acceptable alternatives:

"I fell off the wagon. Oh, well."

"I ate cake and I don't care who knows it."

"Doh! I hadn't planned on eating out but that's what we did."

"Wow, lucky us -- we got to celebrate a family milestone in style..."

"I'm tired tonight and will order pizza.





Love from one who has finally shed the F word from her self-evaluation.





Julia put into words just the right thing at the right time (she is good that way) to let me give myself a little slack and remember that change is indeed hard and there will be days (moments) where I am more successful than others and to keep getting back up and trying to do my best.



Today turned out not so bad at all as a matter of fact. I got to spend time with my husband and son and we sat around in our pj's watching tv and having fun. We even had my husbands son and nephew stop by to bring something to Rick for his Gout. We ordered pizza and watched some movies, laughed, and I got to know my nephew a lot better. He has moved to town to go to UNM in the fall and I am really liking getting to know him. I have only met him about 3 or 4 times before this as he lives 4 hours away and I wasn't even part of the family until he was about 14 (he is now 24). Nathan thinks he is way cool and had a blast with him. So after beating myself up for failing not being "perfect", my day turned out pretty good after all. Yes, I had pizza, however I also had fruits and veggies and plenty of water, and since I am being honest, I had a DQ ice cream that was in the freezer. I did NOT however have multiple soda's, chips and junk food, so that right there is something I can be proud of.



Not a "perfect" day by any means, however I am so OK with that....better than OK actually!



So here is to a new beginning and new choices tomorrow and to me getting that treadmill first!

It hurts to blink!

I thought I would be sore this morning, I was so the opposite of sore when I got out of bed this morning.  NOW is a totally different story!

I popped right out of bed this am, almost forgetting that I worked out for 2 hours yesterday at the gym.  I could feel that I worked out dormant muscles, yet it I was not stiff or sore at all.  Does this mean that yesterdays exercises don't count?  I got dressed and got Nathan and I out the door and headed to the gym feeling limber and ready to "Sweat to the Oldies".  I get to the gym and it is packed, well really just the cardio area is packed.  There is no treadmill available, lots of bikes and ellipticals open....sorry, I am not hauling my wide load up 4' in the air to make it easier to see the junk in my trunk thank you very much!  I decide to do my machines first, as I really am not into "riding" the bike and not burning as many calories as the treadmill does.  I am sorry that I realized that yesterday, as it now seems that I am doing all the work and getting 1/2 the results by using the bike vs the treadmill.  I have decided to not focus on my stats and I will compare them once a month so see my progress.

So I head to my favorite machine in the whole gym, the super leg press.  I set it to 100 lbs and lay down and prepare to do 100 reps.  I do 1 and 2 and then on the 3rd rep, OMG the 3rd rep makes me know that I DID workout yesterday! My thigh muscles clearly were not amused to be working this hard again, and I do believe they called me a @#$%^& as they screamed out in pain!  I had 97 more to do! 97!  The pain was akin to the 85 hours of labor I had, the difference being I could not walk away from the contractions, however I could walk away from the machine.  I made myself do all 100 and felt proud of myself that I did not give up!  I need to remember that I will be sore for a little bit and it is a good thing.

I get off the machine and see that there is an empty treadmill, so I head on over.  I am almost there, and then it happens!  I am apparently in a race with another person for the only available treadmill and I saw it first.  I keep walking towards the treadmill, thinking since I started walking towards it first, it was mine, kind of like having my blinker on waiting for a parking space. I was so wrong, apparently there are no rules when a treadmill becomes available!  I was almost there, so close, it was almost mine and then this sweet old man got off a machine right in front of me and I had to stop in my tracks.  He is part of the Silver Sneaker set and it took him a bit to start walking after he got right in my way....lol  Needless to say I lost my treadmill.  I do however believe it was a conspiracy as the person who was now walking on "my" treadmill is also a member of the Silver Sneaker group.  It was a conspiracy and I am certain that there were hand signals involved!  I am on to you Silver Sneakers!

I accept my defeat and mumble over to another machine to go work my bat wings.  The machine I am on is inches away from the mirror that I am not a fan of!  Not only do I get to see myself, I get to see the ugly faces that I make as I do my reps.  I seem to be the only one that is not a fan of the mirror.  I watch people watching themselves in the mirror.  I see men staring at their butts as they squat, watching their pecs as they flex, women watching themselves bend and men watching those women...OH PLEASE!  I am done with my people watching and my arms and slyly look in the mirror to see if there is a free treadmill....There is!

I don't get my hopes up and nonchalantly grab my water and  head across the gym towards the cardio area.    There are no Silver Sneakers in my path, so I feel victory and pull my earphones out of my pocket and can almost feel the burn.....NOOOOOOO!  Out of nowhere a size triple 0 weaves  her way through the cardio area and hops on the treadmill.  Do you people not see my blinker, blinking away showing that I saw it first and it is mine?  I am not enjoying today, not at all!  I do a few more machines and finally resign myself to the bikes.

I am all situated on the bike, plugged in my earphones and getting ready to watch the ladies of the View. I am 2 minutes in and I sense movement behind me, movement that sounds like a treadmill stopping!  I turn my head as far as it will go and make eye to zipper contact with a man giving it all he has on the elliptical.  Hi, nice to meet you, come here often?  I turn my head just a bit more and see an open treadmill and as soon as I see it, a man sees me seeing it and he runs over and puts his gloves on it and then goes finish talking to his friend!  Are you kidding me!  DUDE!  If I could lift my leg, I would so kick your ass!  NO worries, as I am turning my head back, I see one open up.  I jump up out of my seat, my earphones popping out of my ears and me almost knocking over the bike (how embarrassing would that have been?).  I grab my earphones and my water and run/walk to the treadmill.  I made it, it is mine and I jump on.  I am so happy! (Really Kelly?  Happy to be on a treadmill?)  I plug in my headphones and program in my stats and as soon as I start walking the sound in my ears is deafening!  Note to self:  Make sure volume is not at Silver Sneaker volume.  After my hard won treadmill cardio workout, I step off and turn to leave and see the following sign "Treadmill time limit is 30 minutes when people are waiting"  Can we get this sign in bright neon and place it on EVERY treadmill.  I do believe I am the only one who has ever read this sign...I would laugh at this, but it hurts too much!

New Beginnings

I was so excited last night that I did not fall asleep until almost 2:30 and was up at 6:30 and hit the snooze alarm until 7ish.  That was a really bad bad decision...


I got up in what I thought was plenty of time to get all my morning things done...what was I thinking?  I was tired after not enough sleep and was functioning in s-l-o-w m-o-t-i-o-n.  I had planned on making myself a healthy smoothie and sitting down to enjoy it, then getting Nathan up and dressed to take him to the sitters.  Well you know what they say about the best laid plans.   I got dressed and headed to the kitchen to make my smoothie and apparently there was a party in the kitchen and no one cleaned up after themselves, so there went having counter space make my smoothie ( I was a little nervous about trying a fruit and veggie laden liquid breakfast before hitting the gym anyway, know what I mean), my body is used to a diet cherry pepsi and what ever bag of cracker/chip/pretzel is open.  I go to get Nathan up and moving and he is not in his bed and that means that Dad let him stay up really late watching movies and playing video games.  Rick fell asleep on the couch as well (probably right after the snack and video fest), so I knew that Nathan would be tired this am and be slow moving.  (I found out tonight that "the boys" were up until 3 am!)  Well Nathan popped right up when I reminded him that he was going to the sitters and gets to see Harley as well.  He is zipping around and very happy to be up!  


I go to grab my keys and I can not find them!  Looked for 20 minutes (I build some extra time in my schedule until I get it in gear) and they can not be found and are probably under the dishes on the counter....grrrr.  Well I grab Rick's keys, start the car and everything starts moving!  His settings are in his key and the gas pedal is moving, the mirrors are adjusting, the seat is moving back and down....I am not amused!  I reset everything to as close as I can get to what I like and we are finally off.  I drop Nathan off and he walks into the house like he does this every day and I am left standing in the front door courtyard without a hug or so much as a "see  you later Mom".  The sitter must see my need for a hug, so she hugs me and says have fun at the gym (really, fun?)  She says to call if I need anything and I tell her to do the same, thinking I will have to hold myself back from checking in every 42 seconds.  I get  back to the car and get in and hubby's #$%^&* key resets everything to his preferences again!!  It is going to be a long day.


I get to the gym and find a spot and sit there for just a minute to gather my courage to walk through those front doors and into New Beginnings.  I grab my earphones, water bottle, phone and the bleeping keys.  I sashay over to the doors and exude a confidence I really do not feel.  I go to find the scanner to scan my membership card and DOH!  I have hubby's keys and no membership card.  So me who is trying to be as inauspicious as possible, has now created a bottleneck at the check in...grrrr.  So I get checked in and put one foot in front of the other and make myself keep walking.  I find a stationary bike and settle in to cycle along with Regis and Kelly.  I program in my stats, put in my earphones and settle in for a 30 minute ride with the very perky Kelly Ripa.  Well Kelly and I did not get much time together as the man who sat next to me had a visitor that chatted and chatted and chatted, and was quite loud.  No matter how high I adjusted my volume and no matter how far I tried to push my earphones down into my ear canal, I could hear nothing but this chatty woman!  I learned she is a cat lover and has many cats and that  one of them is quite sick and the vet has told her that the cat will tell her when it is time for the "cat to go".  I kept chanting go away, please go away in my head, chanting in her direction, but she did not seem to be getting the message.  I really hope that the cat fares better than I did!  So finally my 30 minutes are up and I look at my stats expecting to see that it shows that I rode the equivalent of the state of New Mexico and burned hundreds of calories, as my shirt was damp and my legs felt like they had just auditioned for a Jello Jigglers commercial with Bill Cosby.   Well it seems that New Mexico is only 4 miles, much smaller than I anticipated!  I did manage to keep my heart rate at an optimal rate for the entire time and I burned a whopping 76 calories, so now I am going to be able to have that carrot after all! Are you kidding me?  I am sticky, damp and had to listen to the demise of a cat and I only burned 76 calories?!?!?! This is going to be a long journey people!


I decide that I will try the treadmill for another 30 minutes so I go and plug my info in and start walking and walking and walking.  Did I mention that I was walking?  I am all by myself, feeling good, walking up hills, making the incline steeper and feeling good.  Then I get a treadmill neighbor, a sweet grandfather in 1970's shorts that I really wish left more to the imagination...I think that I will bump up my incline a little more and show grandpa how hills are done.  Well that cockiness was oh so short lived as "leave nothing to the imagination grandpa" starts to run and I mean RUN!  I slowly guide my finger to the incline button and decide hills are over rated anyway.  I get a new neighbor on the other side and she is toned and sculpted and molded to within an inch of perfection (translation: she has a great doctor).  My  30 minutes are up and I look at my stats and while I am happy they are better than biking, they are still less than what I expected.  I walked 1.4 miles and burned 216 calories.  Hey it is a start, right?  I try to navigate off the treadmill between Barbie (who by the way would lose in Julia's no plastic throw down, if you know what I mean) and showing the goods grandpa, so as not to fall and to look as cool as I can.  My legs feel like they are made out of rubber bands as I walk to the water fountain to splash some water on my face.  I met up with another lady who has the same thought and we talk about how sticky we are and she says she hates it, yet she knows how good it is for the body and my response? "Yeah, my bra is all wet"  Really Kelly, my bra is wet?  OMG!  At least she laughs and says hers is too.  Thank goodness I only have to see her everyday now.


I have done an hour of cardio and decide it is time to hit the machines.  I love doing the machines and head right for my favorite leg one.  I have gone to the gym sporadically, very sporadically for a while and have learned what I like to use.  I do the super leg press and I set the weight at 90 lbs and do 100 reps, I then move to the chest incline and am feeling good.  I like the weight I can put on the machines and the amount of reps I can do.  I even had a trainer tell me that they were impressed with what I was able to do. I was feeling good, I had a bit of a pep to my step and sashayed to the next machine, set my weight and settle in to work my arms.  I happen to turn my head and catch myself in the mirror, yet I did not know it was me at first.  I really wish they would give you sunglasses at the front desk that would prohibit the mirrors from showing your reflection, as my mirror was saying "objects are larger than they appear".  It was not pretty, let me tell you!  I decide to move to another machine and am getting ready to leave when a parent from school comes by and starts chatting while waiting for the machine next to me.  Great!  Now I have to stay in front of this mirror, work out longer and chat all at once, and with a wet bra!


I have worked out now for 2 hours and decide to head for the car.  CRAP!  I really need to find my keys!  I hate hubby's settings in MY car...lol  I head for the post office (it is on my way) so that I can buy an envelope with a stamp so that I can pay for the RoadRunner MFP.  I should be in and out of there in 5 minutes.  I get inside and there are about 12 people in front of me.  The line seems to be moving, so I am not going to get annoyed.  No sooner than I say that, one of the two clerks closes his window and goes to lunch!!  Are you kidding me?  OK, so I think 10 minutes now, no biggie!  Well I will not go into details, but I was in line for 42 minutes!!!  I hate the post office.


I go get Nathan and he had a blast!  They played football, tag, played with Harley, chased the cats, watched cartoons, ate the fruit I sent over, ran around the back yard. He can't wait to go back tomorrow!  That makes me feel so good.  I can continue going to the gym and he can have fun while I am taking time for me.


We get home and all of the sudden I am so tired.  The no sleep last night, the gym today and all the energy spent changing the settings in the car (lol) have made me very tired.  I also drink about the equivalent of a ponds worth of water and know that I will pay later in my swishing down the hall to the bathroom.  My plan is to sit with Nathan for a bit while he shows me some moves on a video game and then go take a shower and see what we want to do.  Well I sit and promptly fall asleep!  Nathan was OK with that as my nap equaled more video game time...lol  Note to self, NO sitting the rest of the year!!!  We did not do anything else as when I went to get up, my body screamed in protest and it had gotten smokey outside again due to the fires in AZ.  I have yet to shower, so I am going to do that right now and take a handful of Aleve...


So there you have it, 1 day down, 364 more to go...

Fort Knox is a pain in the Tukus!

Good Morning all.


First day dealing with no garage door and I am not liking it one bit, not at all!  I need 2 different  keys to get into my front doors and because we hardly use that door, there is so much sand in the keyhole and it is so hard to lock and unlock.  Turning the key makes a crunching sound and you really have to put some muscle into it.  The way my luck is going I am going to break the key in the lock and be stuck outside.  I think I had better put a locksmiths number in my phone!  Then there is the gate with the lock, only on the inside btw, so locking from the outside is a @#$%^ in the tukus!  And of course today is the day when I have to come and go many times.  So if you live close and hear lots of Flock of Seagulls, scale the fence and pop in and say hi!

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR! AKA NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS!

I was just thinking that it has been a few days since I had anything funny or interesting to write about and then, KABLAM, I now have a few things to share and I am not amused!


You all know about how my stove went on the fritz just as I embarked on my "No shopping, eat from the pantry challenge" and how frustrating that was for this challenge.  Well let me tell you, that was nothing!  Someone on The Compact issues a new challenge to not use the dryer and hang all clothing to be dried.  I did not take that challenge (however I now seem to be doing this challenge by default) as I was afraid of what could possibly happen as was demonstrated by my stove...ha ha.  I also have the garage door opener on my visor not working and when our mechanic came to the house to service the car, I went to show him and of course it worked right away and then when he left, it would not work again!  I was not about to tempt fate, however fate had other plans.


Today was the first day in a while that I just got to be home, all by myself, and I planned on enjoying it and all the quite that came with it.  I took Nathan to school today (a snow makeup day) and came home and noodled around on line for a bit under the guise of paying some bills (that I did not do) and drank a diet cherry pepsi at 9:45 am (yes I did) and had I known how today would play out I could have added a very healthy shot of something adult like as I would not be driving anywhere else for the rest of the day.  I jumped in the shower and took a scalding hot shower until the hot water was no more and I resembled a just cooked lobster.  It was wonderful and had been such a long time since I had total piece and quite for a nice long hot hot hot shower!  I also decided that since no one was home, I could be nekkid for a bit before I had to be an adult and put on some clothes.  It was so nice and so short lived!  


I was moving a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer and and went to turn on the dryer and nothing.  I thought maybe I had not put it on the dry cycle and tried again, nada, zippo, bubkus!  I think to myself that something might be blocking something and preventing the dryer from turning on, so I proceeded to fold the 3 loads of laundry that Rick washed and dried and did not fold (sheets and towels so wrinkles are a moot point) that were towering on the dryer.  I still wasn't too worried yet as I was confident that I would find the issue.  I got everything folded and put away and nothing was amiss on the top of the dryer.  I looked in the lint trap and it was full and I said to myself that that was the issue.  I cleaned out the lint trap and turned the dryer on.  Well I pushed the button and nothing happened, nothing at all.  I so folded the laundry for nothing....lol. 


 I turn to take the lint to the back door and put it outside for the birds when I hear this loud bang.  It sounded like someone slammed up against our security screen door.  This made me nervous as our whole yard is fenced in with an 8' high block wall around the sides and back and the front yard has a 4' block wall with 4' of wrought iron on top of it.  Everyone jokes that our yard is like Fort Knox and you can't get in unless we let you.  I run to our monitor and turn it on to see what the camera's are picking up and I don't see a thing.  I decide against looking out the windows, as I am nekkid and no one, not even an trespassing burglar should be subjected to that.  I put some clothes on and listen for any other noises and there are none.  I am now much braver with a thin layer of material separating me from anyone skulking around my yard and decide to look out the windows and I see nothing.  I decided to be even braver and put my death trap, ankle crunching slippers on to take a look around outside and see if I can see anything out of place, or some intruder hanging upside down on the wrought iron fence.  There is nothing amiss outside, so I go back inside.  I am not liking the peace and quiet now, so I decide to watch something that I had dvr'd to make it not so quiet in here.


I finished my shows and again noodled around on the computer, researching something (still not paying those pesky bills) and look up and it is time to get Nathan from school.  I have 15 minutes until I have to pick him up and that is plenty of time.  I search for my keys for a few minutes (they are so not in my key spot) and then I remember that I left them in the ignition when I pulled in the garage and got a phone call.  Hey, at least the car was inside the garage and not sitting in the driveway, right? WRONG! Could not be wronger!  I went to put up the garage door and it lifted only 1", yes only 1"!!!  I look around to see if anything fell to prevent the door from going up and all was clear.  I race out the front/side door and have to stop and unlock our Fort Knox gate so that I can look at the front of the garage to see if there is something there.  The front of the garage door is clear, nothing to block it!  Between looking for my keys and a non working garage door, I now have 1 minute to get to school and pick up Nathan.  Not happening.  I call a friend to see if she can get Nathan from his after school book club when she gets her daughter from the same club.  She says she is not going to school, her hubby was out and about and is getting her daughter.  UGH!  She is such a good friend, she says she will call her hubby to sit with Nathan until she gets there, as there is not room for 3 people to ride safely in his truck, and she will bring him home.  THANKS JUDI, YOU ROCK!!!  I call Rick and say don't be alarmed, but I am stuck in the garage and need your help.  Rick hates when I call him at work with these things, as :

• He could be 20' up in the air on a ladder
• Squished in an attic
• Can't leave a job he is in the middle of
• Too far away to come right home to deal with it
• Nothing he can do about it on the phone

  Today however, he was already on his way home and said he would be here in 20 minutes. YEAH!


My friend calls and says she and Nathan are in the driveway and he is trying to use the whatachamahickey on the side of the garage to open the door.  I race to the intercom and tell him to stop as I can just picture the garage door flying off the hinges and taking him out in one fell swoop (can you blame me with how this is going so far).  I go out the front/side door again, unlock the Fort Knox gate and thank Judi for getting him and bringing him home.  Nathan goes in the gate to go inside when we see Ricks truck coming up the street.  I stay where I am on the side of the driveway (where Rick parks) thinking that he will park on the other side so he can access the whatachamahickey and gate to fix the garage door.  Well you know what assuming things does, and he proceeds to back up his truck, apparently not seeing me.  I try to yell at him to stop, but his back up train whistle, yes you read that correctly, he has a train whistle sound when he backs up, drowns me out.  I am so glad that I did not have lunch today, because I was a sandwich away from being a pancake!  I slide along the wall to the gate pilling my pants the entire way and plan on sitting inside out of harms way while Rick fixes the garage door.


Rick heads inside to go to the garage to see what is going on.  I  and my pilled pants decide to go with him to see what is going on.  Rick tries to open the door and it goes up 1''.....did you think I was making it up?  He tries again for good measure, same thing.  He is about tho release the door from the tracks with the top handle when I notice that the whole length of the top of the door is bowed and tell him.  We realize that the spring and the mechanism that pulls the door up and down, is stripped.  He pulls the lever and it makes a loud bang (just like the one I heard earlier).  He gets his ladder to take a look thinking that maybe it can be fixed.  I decide to run inside and look on line if it is safe to repair this, or if we need to replace it.  I find my answer and go to print it for Rick to read and the @#$%^& copier jams!  I am beside myself with outrage that everything I touch is not working properly today.  I am a little nervous even typing this as my laptop has frozen a few times already.  I have a full dishwasher that needs to be run, however I do believe I will wait and let Rick start it...lol


So to my fellow compactors, I implore, no more challenges!  No more not using the dryer, no lets wash our clothes by hand,  no lets not use the car for a week,  no lets only open the fridge 1 time a day,  no lets power our TV's and laptops by running on the treadmill, no cooking only in a crock pot, no lets make our own candles and use them for light,  no lets sew our own clothes for a month, no anything....PLEASE!  Of course I am not serious, however it would be great if in the subject line you could say "Kelly open at your own risk" and I will avoid it like the plague.  


Rick just asked me if the dryer was still broken and I said yes and he said what's next, just so he is prepared.  Nathan asked me to stay away from the toaster oven and the fridge and just hid the iPad!  Guess that no interest for 12 months coupon from Home Depot is going to come in might handy in the next few weeks...I can so go for a Dove Bar right now!


To end on a positive note, I did not have to wear a bra all day.  I am taking all the positives I can get today and a day without underwire is a good day!

The best way to feed a hungry child, is to feed his family

I LOVE every 3rd Wednesday of the month!!!  Let me say that again.  I LOVE EVERY 3RD WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH!!!


This past summer Julia and a few other members of the Compact  participated in the Food Stamp Challenge (FS Challenge).  This challenge was to only buy groceries for the month (food only, no toilet paper, no cleaner, no toothbrushes, no beer, no diapers, no pet food, no lightbulbs, etc etc) based on what their states allotted to families based on size, and when you were out, you were out! The Compact is a very ingenious and resourceful group of people and some of them found themselves with more month than food, running out of things that they take for granted, that they always have on hand and can run to the store for when they need to.  People talked about how the FS Challenge reminded them of the struggles of lean(er) years, childhood, how they were on FS, how it was harder than they thought it would be.  Well Julia really lit a fire under me, opening my eyes again to the needs out there in our own corner of the world.  I wanted to do something to help feed families in my corner of the world and I was at a loss of how to do this.  I could not let this go, I though of it all day, every day, and even in my sleep.  It was apparent that I really needed to find a way to make this happen and NOW!


I decided to look up my local Food Bank on line and do some research.  My local Food Bank is the Roadrunner Food Bank of New Mexico and I was reading about their programs and came across the Mobile Food Pantry - The program is a traveling food pantry that eliminates the need for long-term or large-capacity storage and provides families 50 pounds of perishable and non-perishable food.  Families represent a large segment of clients served at Mobile Food Pantry (MFP) sites where 43% of those helped are children.  THIS WAS IT!!  I made a few phone calls and got some information and asked the Mobile Food Pantry Manager to come speak at my next PTO meeting because I wanted to ask the PTO to help sponsor this and if we could not, then I was going to do the first one and get donations for all the other ones I wanted to do.  My PTO members voted and agreed that they would sponsor  2,500 pounds of food each month!  This works out to be 50 pounds of food each for 50 families and it costs about $125.00.  Try getting 2,5000 lbs of groceries at the store for $125.00...  I was walking on air!  I was so excited!  We were going to be able to feed 50 families each month! I formed a volunteer committee and we got the ball rolling.


The first MFP happened in September and we did not quite have 50 families, however we were thrilled!  I cried talking to the families.  They were saying that they were so grateful that we were doing this and they had no food in the house. October 2010 and we had 50 families!  November 2010 I invited another school to share out time slot and feed their families.  We had 7,500 pound of food for 150 families and we were busy! December 2010 saw us with 16,000 pounds...8 TONS OF FOOD, ENOUGH FOR 600 FAMILIES!  We decided to get this amount as it was going to be Christmas break and many children that get their breakfast and lunch at school (for free or reduced) might be going without meals for more than 2 weeks.  We decided that since the parents would have their kids home over the holidays, we would give them 100 pounds of food, so we fed 300 families 100 pounds of food each.  We were nervous with 8 tons of food coming our way.  We didn't need to be nervous, we rocked it!  I  have the best group of people helping me make my dream a reality!  January 2011 we had 7,500 pounds of food (this was a paperwork error) and I was so nervous that we would have to turn people away.  It was amazing, we had the same amount of people and less than half the food and no matter how many people came, there was enough food.  It was like the "Fishes and Loaves",  the food seemed to never be getting less and less.  Today, February 2011 we again had 8 TONS of food.  We had a little food left after everyone did their shopping and I called a food pantry right up the street and they took a small truck full there.  NOTHING gets wasted!


I also make sure that we give out clothing at these events.  My next goal is to have mobile medical services in conjunction with the MFP.  There are Doctors and Dentists that will come in mobile facilities and give free medial care.  This is a perfect marriage of helping my local families.  It is a lot of hard physical work (ever unloaded 8 tons of anything?) and setting it up and then the clean up, however I can not think of a better way to spend an afternoon, surrounded by caring people, helping people.  This is why I love the 3rd Wednesday of every month!


Here are some pictures: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=73209&id=1609085328&l=2a1ec73f32

No the best choice, however it feels SOOO good!

Tonight as I was leaving the school, after giving out 8 TONS of food (that will be in my next post) I was walking to my car and this parent lights up a cigarette on school grounds.  I very nicely say that there is no smoking allowed on school grounds and he looks right at me and ignores me.  I say again that there is no smoking allowed on school grounds and he tells me to mind my own @#$%^&* business!  Good example to set for your kids in the car buddy!  I tell him that there is no need to use that language and to please remember that we are at an elementary school.  Well he cussed me out again and told me that it was a vapor cigarette and not a real one.  OK pal, let me tell you one more time, it is an elementary school, NO SMOKING, vapors or no vapors.  He starts cussing again and my son is with me and he asks who do I think I am?  I say that I work for the school district and I am also a parent.  He says what are you going to do, call the cops on me and heads into the school. I say never mind, just bite me and get in my car and drive off.  Then it hits me...He is parked in a no parking, fire lane, car will be towed zone.  I pull my car over and dial the police non emergency number and report his car in the fire lane and could they please send an officer out to ticket the illegally parked car.  Well he gave me the idea to call the cops in the first place! LMAO! KARMA BABY!!!

Please and Thank You

I dropped Nathan off at school where they were having a controlled burn (really?) right behind the portables, which is right behind the playground, which is right where the busses drop off the kids!  Controlled burns are scary at best, so I can see why they would choose to do it with 1,000 kids close by, 200 of them within mere feet in their classroom....makes total sense...NOT!  I saw kids walking over to get a closer look, and we all know how curious kids are...not the best choice of times to take care of some brush.


After driving home from a prairie fire in the making, I happened upon a construction site.  They are widening a very well traveled, busy road (YEAH by the way).  They have lowered the speed limit on this road, so we were a tad backed up and I had time to check out what they were doing.  My eyes went to the group of men talking and pointing and then I saw two guys standing off to the side a bit.  Well apparently that was the itch and scratchy section of the work crew.  Right there on the side of the road workman 1 is adjusting his boys (via the outside of his jeans) and taking a long time to make sure they are comfy and workman 2 is taking notes and decides that his boys could be a little more comfy as well, so he decides to adjust them from the inside of his pants (more of a hands on approach, if you will).  I guess they need a little more TLC.


I turn into my development and there is a dog doing his morning business right at the corner where I turn next.  I can handle this, I am far enough away that he should be done by the time I get there (how I figured this, I don't know).  I round the corner and the dog is happily wagging his tail and a job well done.  I must first commend the pet owner for being responsible and picking up after his dog, I however ask that when bending over doing so, to either have a robe that closes, and/or wear pants!!  Please and Thank You!

Size does matter!

Well here it is Valentines and sitting right next to me is a HUGE heart shaped box of chocolates!  And I am not going to eat a one....want to know why?  Let's go back to last night.

Hubby was on his way home from an emergency job what was supposed to take a few minutes that wound up being an all day job.  He decides to stop at Walgreens on his way home to get some beer and some Valentines stuff.  I say you can't get diamonds at Walgreens laughing.  So he comes home and puts the beer in the fridge and he is holding this really big heart shaped box of chocolates and a few other things.  He tells me that when he was paying for it, the guy ringing it up says this is a really large box of chocolates and Rick (my 1st husband) says "Well it is for a really big girl", and he is laughing while telling me this, thinking it is funny.  Well not only am I not going to eat that @#$%^&* box of chocolate, I am here to tell you...SIZE REALLY DOES MATTER*!!! (another version of Flock of Seagulls)

With that off my chest, and moving forward, tomorrow is another day.

*Not true and not an issue here, just blowing off steam! Hope everyone sees the attempt at humor.