Fort Knox is a pain in the Tukus!

Good Morning all.


First day dealing with no garage door and I am not liking it one bit, not at all!  I need 2 different  keys to get into my front doors and because we hardly use that door, there is so much sand in the keyhole and it is so hard to lock and unlock.  Turning the key makes a crunching sound and you really have to put some muscle into it.  The way my luck is going I am going to break the key in the lock and be stuck outside.  I think I had better put a locksmiths number in my phone!  Then there is the gate with the lock, only on the inside btw, so locking from the outside is a @#$%^ in the tukus!  And of course today is the day when I have to come and go many times.  So if you live close and hear lots of Flock of Seagulls, scale the fence and pop in and say hi!

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR! AKA NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS!

I was just thinking that it has been a few days since I had anything funny or interesting to write about and then, KABLAM, I now have a few things to share and I am not amused!


You all know about how my stove went on the fritz just as I embarked on my "No shopping, eat from the pantry challenge" and how frustrating that was for this challenge.  Well let me tell you, that was nothing!  Someone on The Compact issues a new challenge to not use the dryer and hang all clothing to be dried.  I did not take that challenge (however I now seem to be doing this challenge by default) as I was afraid of what could possibly happen as was demonstrated by my stove...ha ha.  I also have the garage door opener on my visor not working and when our mechanic came to the house to service the car, I went to show him and of course it worked right away and then when he left, it would not work again!  I was not about to tempt fate, however fate had other plans.


Today was the first day in a while that I just got to be home, all by myself, and I planned on enjoying it and all the quite that came with it.  I took Nathan to school today (a snow makeup day) and came home and noodled around on line for a bit under the guise of paying some bills (that I did not do) and drank a diet cherry pepsi at 9:45 am (yes I did) and had I known how today would play out I could have added a very healthy shot of something adult like as I would not be driving anywhere else for the rest of the day.  I jumped in the shower and took a scalding hot shower until the hot water was no more and I resembled a just cooked lobster.  It was wonderful and had been such a long time since I had total piece and quite for a nice long hot hot hot shower!  I also decided that since no one was home, I could be nekkid for a bit before I had to be an adult and put on some clothes.  It was so nice and so short lived!  


I was moving a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer and and went to turn on the dryer and nothing.  I thought maybe I had not put it on the dry cycle and tried again, nada, zippo, bubkus!  I think to myself that something might be blocking something and preventing the dryer from turning on, so I proceeded to fold the 3 loads of laundry that Rick washed and dried and did not fold (sheets and towels so wrinkles are a moot point) that were towering on the dryer.  I still wasn't too worried yet as I was confident that I would find the issue.  I got everything folded and put away and nothing was amiss on the top of the dryer.  I looked in the lint trap and it was full and I said to myself that that was the issue.  I cleaned out the lint trap and turned the dryer on.  Well I pushed the button and nothing happened, nothing at all.  I so folded the laundry for nothing....lol. 


 I turn to take the lint to the back door and put it outside for the birds when I hear this loud bang.  It sounded like someone slammed up against our security screen door.  This made me nervous as our whole yard is fenced in with an 8' high block wall around the sides and back and the front yard has a 4' block wall with 4' of wrought iron on top of it.  Everyone jokes that our yard is like Fort Knox and you can't get in unless we let you.  I run to our monitor and turn it on to see what the camera's are picking up and I don't see a thing.  I decide against looking out the windows, as I am nekkid and no one, not even an trespassing burglar should be subjected to that.  I put some clothes on and listen for any other noises and there are none.  I am now much braver with a thin layer of material separating me from anyone skulking around my yard and decide to look out the windows and I see nothing.  I decided to be even braver and put my death trap, ankle crunching slippers on to take a look around outside and see if I can see anything out of place, or some intruder hanging upside down on the wrought iron fence.  There is nothing amiss outside, so I go back inside.  I am not liking the peace and quiet now, so I decide to watch something that I had dvr'd to make it not so quiet in here.


I finished my shows and again noodled around on the computer, researching something (still not paying those pesky bills) and look up and it is time to get Nathan from school.  I have 15 minutes until I have to pick him up and that is plenty of time.  I search for my keys for a few minutes (they are so not in my key spot) and then I remember that I left them in the ignition when I pulled in the garage and got a phone call.  Hey, at least the car was inside the garage and not sitting in the driveway, right? WRONG! Could not be wronger!  I went to put up the garage door and it lifted only 1", yes only 1"!!!  I look around to see if anything fell to prevent the door from going up and all was clear.  I race out the front/side door and have to stop and unlock our Fort Knox gate so that I can look at the front of the garage to see if there is something there.  The front of the garage door is clear, nothing to block it!  Between looking for my keys and a non working garage door, I now have 1 minute to get to school and pick up Nathan.  Not happening.  I call a friend to see if she can get Nathan from his after school book club when she gets her daughter from the same club.  She says she is not going to school, her hubby was out and about and is getting her daughter.  UGH!  She is such a good friend, she says she will call her hubby to sit with Nathan until she gets there, as there is not room for 3 people to ride safely in his truck, and she will bring him home.  THANKS JUDI, YOU ROCK!!!  I call Rick and say don't be alarmed, but I am stuck in the garage and need your help.  Rick hates when I call him at work with these things, as :

• He could be 20' up in the air on a ladder
• Squished in an attic
• Can't leave a job he is in the middle of
• Too far away to come right home to deal with it
• Nothing he can do about it on the phone

  Today however, he was already on his way home and said he would be here in 20 minutes. YEAH!


My friend calls and says she and Nathan are in the driveway and he is trying to use the whatachamahickey on the side of the garage to open the door.  I race to the intercom and tell him to stop as I can just picture the garage door flying off the hinges and taking him out in one fell swoop (can you blame me with how this is going so far).  I go out the front/side door again, unlock the Fort Knox gate and thank Judi for getting him and bringing him home.  Nathan goes in the gate to go inside when we see Ricks truck coming up the street.  I stay where I am on the side of the driveway (where Rick parks) thinking that he will park on the other side so he can access the whatachamahickey and gate to fix the garage door.  Well you know what assuming things does, and he proceeds to back up his truck, apparently not seeing me.  I try to yell at him to stop, but his back up train whistle, yes you read that correctly, he has a train whistle sound when he backs up, drowns me out.  I am so glad that I did not have lunch today, because I was a sandwich away from being a pancake!  I slide along the wall to the gate pilling my pants the entire way and plan on sitting inside out of harms way while Rick fixes the garage door.


Rick heads inside to go to the garage to see what is going on.  I  and my pilled pants decide to go with him to see what is going on.  Rick tries to open the door and it goes up 1''.....did you think I was making it up?  He tries again for good measure, same thing.  He is about tho release the door from the tracks with the top handle when I notice that the whole length of the top of the door is bowed and tell him.  We realize that the spring and the mechanism that pulls the door up and down, is stripped.  He pulls the lever and it makes a loud bang (just like the one I heard earlier).  He gets his ladder to take a look thinking that maybe it can be fixed.  I decide to run inside and look on line if it is safe to repair this, or if we need to replace it.  I find my answer and go to print it for Rick to read and the @#$%^& copier jams!  I am beside myself with outrage that everything I touch is not working properly today.  I am a little nervous even typing this as my laptop has frozen a few times already.  I have a full dishwasher that needs to be run, however I do believe I will wait and let Rick start it...lol


So to my fellow compactors, I implore, no more challenges!  No more not using the dryer, no lets wash our clothes by hand,  no lets not use the car for a week,  no lets only open the fridge 1 time a day,  no lets power our TV's and laptops by running on the treadmill, no cooking only in a crock pot, no lets make our own candles and use them for light,  no lets sew our own clothes for a month, no anything....PLEASE!  Of course I am not serious, however it would be great if in the subject line you could say "Kelly open at your own risk" and I will avoid it like the plague.  


Rick just asked me if the dryer was still broken and I said yes and he said what's next, just so he is prepared.  Nathan asked me to stay away from the toaster oven and the fridge and just hid the iPad!  Guess that no interest for 12 months coupon from Home Depot is going to come in might handy in the next few weeks...I can so go for a Dove Bar right now!


To end on a positive note, I did not have to wear a bra all day.  I am taking all the positives I can get today and a day without underwire is a good day!