These last 6 months have sucked! SUCKED BIG TIME!
When I was injured back in September 2012, who knew that 6 months later I would still be fighting to get my mojo back? Not only has it been a physically frustrating 6 months, it has been enormously hard emotionally as well. I feel myself slipping away from what my goals were, still are. I had lost 80 ish lbs when I was injured and now I believe I have gained 20, dare I say 30 lbs back over these 6 months. My eating habits suck, my motivation is nil, my healthy attitude gone! How the hell did this happen? I was supposed to be fighting to lose the last of my weight at this stage, to be toning up?
Nathan has his 5th grade graduation in less than 2 months. I was supposed to be rocking the new me. I am not even at the 80 ish lbs gone me anymore! I am hating this. How do I get back to my work our routine? How do I find a new routine? I have joined a new gym for various reasons and while it works, it is not my old comfortable gym stomping grounds. I miss my old machines, my routine there, the comfort level. I enlisted my husband to go with me, and he is a great motivator to get up and get going in the am as he is a real morning person (bastard :) ). Summer will be here soon and then before I know it, my brother is getting married NYE 2013. I am supposed to be looking fierce then.
How do I find the mindset to go from depression of mojo lost to fierce in 9 months. I once had it, I didn't have to find it, it found me. I made promises to Nathan, to myself. I want to keep those promises, to feel better, to look better, to be better. How do I get there? I am still afraid to go balls to the wall like I used to for fear of making my foot worse. I can't do any weight bearing exercises and am limited to upper body. Yeah, I know, poor me, only being able to work out the upper body. I just don't feel like myself anymore. The pre injury Kelly that would and could do anything to the hobbled Kelly that I am not a fan of.
I have the tools, the skills, the want, the need, the desire. I just flat out feel like a failure. I loved when people would tell me looking good, you inspire me, way to go, honk their horns when I was out walking. I miss that and with the way I feel and look, all of that is gone. I can't walk like I did, I don't look like I did. I don't feel like I did. In addition to feeling like I am on a slide backwards with no way off, I also have to re-lose the weight I gained. Talk about a fast track to the bottom of the barrel.
Maybe getting this off my chest will help. Maybe if I put it out there, the universe will send me my inspiration. Maybe seeing this in black and white will get me off my ass and motivate me. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I want a definitive! I want my mojo back! can you hear me? I WANT MY MOJO BACK!! I WANT TO GIVE A DAMN AGAIN!! I WANT TO SUCEED!!
When I was injured back in September 2012, who knew that 6 months later I would still be fighting to get my mojo back? Not only has it been a physically frustrating 6 months, it has been enormously hard emotionally as well. I feel myself slipping away from what my goals were, still are. I had lost 80 ish lbs when I was injured and now I believe I have gained 20, dare I say 30 lbs back over these 6 months. My eating habits suck, my motivation is nil, my healthy attitude gone! How the hell did this happen? I was supposed to be fighting to lose the last of my weight at this stage, to be toning up?
Nathan has his 5th grade graduation in less than 2 months. I was supposed to be rocking the new me. I am not even at the 80 ish lbs gone me anymore! I am hating this. How do I get back to my work our routine? How do I find a new routine? I have joined a new gym for various reasons and while it works, it is not my old comfortable gym stomping grounds. I miss my old machines, my routine there, the comfort level. I enlisted my husband to go with me, and he is a great motivator to get up and get going in the am as he is a real morning person (bastard :) ). Summer will be here soon and then before I know it, my brother is getting married NYE 2013. I am supposed to be looking fierce then.
How do I find the mindset to go from depression of mojo lost to fierce in 9 months. I once had it, I didn't have to find it, it found me. I made promises to Nathan, to myself. I want to keep those promises, to feel better, to look better, to be better. How do I get there? I am still afraid to go balls to the wall like I used to for fear of making my foot worse. I can't do any weight bearing exercises and am limited to upper body. Yeah, I know, poor me, only being able to work out the upper body. I just don't feel like myself anymore. The pre injury Kelly that would and could do anything to the hobbled Kelly that I am not a fan of.
I have the tools, the skills, the want, the need, the desire. I just flat out feel like a failure. I loved when people would tell me looking good, you inspire me, way to go, honk their horns when I was out walking. I miss that and with the way I feel and look, all of that is gone. I can't walk like I did, I don't look like I did. I don't feel like I did. In addition to feeling like I am on a slide backwards with no way off, I also have to re-lose the weight I gained. Talk about a fast track to the bottom of the barrel.
Maybe getting this off my chest will help. Maybe if I put it out there, the universe will send me my inspiration. Maybe seeing this in black and white will get me off my ass and motivate me. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I want a definitive! I want my mojo back! can you hear me? I WANT MY MOJO BACK!! I WANT TO GIVE A DAMN AGAIN!! I WANT TO SUCEED!!
