What the _______ is going on with me?
I have committed myself to going back to the gym, not swimming, but the machines. For the past 24 hours I have been a bit nervous. The past 4 hours I have been anxious. Right now I am having what I believe is a panic attack. My heart is racing and it feels like it is going to come right out of my chest.
I was a gym rat. There was NOTHING I wouldn't try and do and succeed at. I mean NOTHING! I had learned to believe in my body, to trust it and its abilities. I was proud of all that it did. I was so proud of the athlete I was becoming. The gym injury took my confidence. I know I will not be where I was 3 years ago, that I will not be doing 60 250 lb leg presses, 90 second 1 hand planks and push ups like it was no big thing (right until I hit #46 and then it was all jelly arms...lol. I have made peace what that.
I am nervous about hurting myself and not giving it my all. And I am nervous about what to wear to the gym tomorrow morning. Are you kidding me? I prance around outside for all to see in a bathing suit. Prance might be the wrong word. Why am I so anxious about wearing shorts and a t-shirt to the gym. I can even wear pants if I want. WTH is going on with me
If I do not go am I a coward? A failure? A liar? A promise breaker? Yes, yes, yes and YES!
I have committed myself to going back to the gym, not swimming, but the machines. For the past 24 hours I have been a bit nervous. The past 4 hours I have been anxious. Right now I am having what I believe is a panic attack. My heart is racing and it feels like it is going to come right out of my chest.
I was a gym rat. There was NOTHING I wouldn't try and do and succeed at. I mean NOTHING! I had learned to believe in my body, to trust it and its abilities. I was proud of all that it did. I was so proud of the athlete I was becoming. The gym injury took my confidence. I know I will not be where I was 3 years ago, that I will not be doing 60 250 lb leg presses, 90 second 1 hand planks and push ups like it was no big thing (right until I hit #46 and then it was all jelly arms...lol. I have made peace what that.
I am nervous about hurting myself and not giving it my all. And I am nervous about what to wear to the gym tomorrow morning. Are you kidding me? I prance around outside for all to see in a bathing suit. Prance might be the wrong word. Why am I so anxious about wearing shorts and a t-shirt to the gym. I can even wear pants if I want. WTH is going on with me
If I do not go am I a coward? A failure? A liar? A promise breaker? Yes, yes, yes and YES!
