Today was not much better, thank you very much

Today, what can I say about today?  Well it was slightly better than yesterday, is that enough?


Woke up this morning and my legs were so stiff from my penguin like walking yesterday.  My right ankle was still swollen and a nice compilation of purples and black and blue.  My left ankle was just a tad sore, but so much better than yesterday.  New development however.  Not only did I twist my ankles yesterday, I apparently wretched my right knee and I woke up to a kneecap that looks like a bowl of jello and feels like it is on fire this am.


I try to get my sneakers on and I can, just not tied.  I can imagine me hobbling my penguin walk and having shoelaces underfoot.  My luck would be that I would trip on those laces and be in traction at the end of the day.  I decide to put my death trap slippers on (what else can they do to me) and get Nathan ready for school.  As I am dropping off Nathan, I ask him if he has everything he needs.  Backpack, check. Jacket, check.  Snack, check.  Homework, check.  Glasses cleaned, OH MAN!  I forgot my glasses Mom!  How do you forget your glasses?  It seems like it would be like forgetting to wear underwear, like forgetting to put on socks, like forgetting to put on your shoes before school.  I tell Nathan that I will bring them back in a little bit  (after all the drop offs are completed, because it is like the Daytona 500 with crash dummies in the morning around the school).  I am almost home when he calls me to remind me to bring in his glasses.  Really Nathan?  You forgot them, I say I will bring them back in and you are calling me 5 minutes after I just told you I would be back with them?  Too bad you didn't remind yourself this morning before we left the house...lol.


I get back to the school and hobble in the doors and very gingerly walk across the newly waxed floors.  I know that if I fall, it will be on camera and somehow will be shown over and over again.  Now showing at the next Family Movie night: Our PTO President Kelly "Do as I say, not as I say and not as I do" Evans,  will  be showing you the why of wearing correct footwear to school, and just how wrong it is to wear slippers.  As a special feature Kelly is going to demonstrate how to Stop, Drop, and Roll in case of a fire.  We do have our Nurse standing by, so please do not try this yourself.  I hobble to the relative safety of the carpeted floor in the office and sit and wait for Nathan to come get his glasses.  As I am sitting there minding my own business, not in the way of anything or anyone, a little person comes into the office and steps squarely onto my foot!  Why a cute little child would do this to me is beyond me!  Was I ever mean to you?  Did I ever ask you to sit on your pockets when you would rather be racing around the lunch room. Did I ever tell you not to spray water on the person behind you at the water fountain?  NO, I HAVE NOT!  What vendetta is playing out here?  After the buzzing in my ears stop, I hear a squeaky little voice say, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."  I am thinking that maybe this child needs Nathan's glasses more than Nathan does.  I say (out loud), "That's OK, accidents happen", while to myself I am saying, "How can you not see me sitting here, totally out of the way, not in the traffic path and with my foot as close to under the chair as I can manage and two steps in the office, you are standing on me?!?!?"


Nathan comes into the office and he does not look happy.  He says the kids are making fun of him for not having his glasses, saying is he blind, how many fingers am I holding up, can you see me, etc!  My heart just breaks for him.  I hug him and tell him that sometimes kids are just mean because they are jealous that you have cool green Converse Glasses.  I also tell him if someone else asks him how many fingers they are holding up to say, "Well you are in 3rd grade, you should know how many fingers you are holding up by now."  That is the best I could come up with that would be appropriate for school...don't make me come to class you !@#$%^&*#$%^&_+ Flock of Seagulls!




I go head for home, making sure I have no extra sets of keys, and walk slowly to the car.  I step down off the curb, right on a very pointy rock that I can feel right through my slipper!!!  I am so going to bed and put my feet up until it is time to go back to get Nathan and Harley*.


I get to school later in the afternoon and load Nathan, Harley and Little G (The Principals Therapy Dog) into the car and off we are to take Little G home and then head home ourself.  We roll down the windows for our two panting furry friends.  We are so glad that the windows were already down because the smell in the car is worse than horrible!  Harley has gas, and when Harley has gas, you need to leave the room.  We couldn't leave the room as we are all stuck in the car sharing the same foul air.  I look in the rearview mirror and I see Nathan trying to look in the back where the dogs are and I asked him what he was doing.  He says he is looking to see if they pooped, because it smells so bad in here.  Well they didn't poop, it just really stinks.




* Harley is a Sheriff Dog and a Therapy Dog.  Harley's Officer was killed in the line of duty and when his family goes out of town we get to love him while he stays with us.

Flock of Seagulls!

Let me point out that this was started February 10, but I did not get to post until just now. It was one of THOSE days!




Where did today go?  I had so many plans, so many things to accomplish and then it happened!  I was in a bit of a rush to take Nathan to school today, as he needed to be there 1 1/2 hours earlier and went to get something out of the car and then it happened!  I was wearing my slippers (that Nathan bought me for Christmas with his own money and which I love very much my thoughtful boy) and I went to step up on the running board and the slippers that my sweet little boy bought me slipped and my right foot came out and slid off the running board and crunched to the ground, while my left foot slammed to the concrete garage floor.  Let me tell you the words that came out of my mouth!  I could make a Sailor blush!!!  It helps (me) to let a whole bunch of expletives fly right out at that first bite of pain.  Really, try it next time you stub your toe.  If Nathan is around my favorite go to is "Flock of Seagulls".  So after making a whole fleet of Sailors blush, I hobble back into the house and no one notices.  Am I invisible, did you not hear the yelling from the garage?  No, they were just enjoying the bacon, eggs and pancakes that I made them for breakfast.  Must have been really yummy to not see the tears welling in my eyes and the double limp walking to the table.


I had gone to the car to get the forms for the "Candy Grams" for a fundraiser at Nathan's school.  I decided to forgo buying the little packs of Valentines at the store and to splurge and get the Candy Grams so that everyone in his class and some people I wanted to send them to, got the very coveted and much longed after Candy Grams.  I spent $35 and let me tell you there had better be Godiva in that Candy Gram when it is delivered!  I kid, I kid!


So I am filling out the 35 forms as we do not have time for Nathan and his 3rd grade (read slower than mine) handwriting to do this and watching both ankles swell up at the same time.  I am wondering what shade of purple the right ankle is going to be...Violet, Barney, Eggplant, Grape....I will save you all the guess work.  I was all of the above with a little bit of  black and blue, splotchy red and dark mauve for good measure. Flock of Seagulls!  I know there is no way I am getting shoes on these cankles this morning so I put on my death trap no traction slippers (thanks again Nathan, I love these so much and can't wait to wear them every day) and take turns limping on both ankles to the car to drive him to school.


Off we go....coasting out of the garage with my foot on the break (Lord have Mercy this hurts).  Put on the break hard (biting my lip) as we are at the top of a hill and I have to put it in drive now to go down the hill.  Get to the end of the development and are at a stop sign for forever ( I can tell it was forever as my ankle was pulsing in time with my heartbeat and I could feel each and every beat) and then I have to hit the gas to accelerate (please take me now).  Well this goes on for the next longest 7 minutes of my life on the way to school.  I drop Nathan off and repeat the whole painful experience on the drive home, the difference being, I can now vocalize my pain as there is not a very cute 3rd grader in the backseat taking notes.  I pull into the driveway and hit the garage door opener (the kind built into the visor) and NOTHING!  It is not opening the door.  I push it again, and again and harder and again!  Fine, I will just get out and hobble over the the whatachamahickey on the side of the garage and put in the code and just leave the car in the driveway.  I need to say that our driveway is a slant and I debated about going back and putting on the emergency break and then well, I didn't.  


I hobble inside, grab a drink and head for the shower and then to bed to put not one, but two feet up and watch some shows I had dvr'd.  I must have dozed a bit on the bed as my cell phone jarred me awake.  It was my boss calling and I said hello just as the missed call message came on.  I waited for a voice mail and there was none (my indicator is apparently on vacation as he left a few messages over the past 24 hours, along with about 6 other people).  No biggie, no voice mail, no problem, right? WRONG!  About 2 minutes later there is a text "Kelly, I need the quarterly reports for the entire 2010 year, and I need them in 1 hour!!!"  OMG!!   I tell him that I don't know if I can get them, as I just got a new computer as the other got fried and died and they transferred what they could.  Well his voice went up about 12 octaves and I knew I had to at least try.  I found them and I tried emailing them to him, but I have a Mac and he has a PC and he was not able to open the reports.  I tell him that  I have 1st, 2nd and 3rd quarter , but the 4th is not done because I am still waiting for a report done by an outside company and we are still waiting for the results.  Well that wasn't going to fly....so while I am trying to now print the 3 reports, I am writing the 4th as fast as I can with as few words as possible, enough to get us through the emergency meeting that was called.  Remember I have one hour and now I have to write the 4th quarter, and now have to hand deliver it as email is not working.  I am 20 minutes in already and the printer jams!  OMG!!  I don't have time for this!  I yank the paper and by the grace of whoever, it works and keeps printing.  His meeting is now 22 minutes away, I am 12 minutes from him and he is 10 minutes from where the meeting is.  I call him and say I am on my way,  and I have wet hair, am wearing slippers, and there is no time for a bra (who says this to their male boss? Me apparently).


I grab the papers, hobble to the car and race over to the office and I run up the stairs (well not really, but you get the point) and he sees me and says, "You made it!"  Well of course I did, your squeaky voice on the phone made this seem really really important.  We hurry to make copies and I say to him, would you like to read the 4th quarter and he says, "No time" and off he goes!  I stay for a minute and chit chat with some coworkers until I remember I am wearing a white T shirt and no bra....Gotta go, see you later.  I hobble down the steps and drive home.  The garage door refuses to open (it will close with the remote, but not open) so I leave the car in the driveway again, sans emergency break, hobble inside and go lay on the bed and prop my feet up.


I am propped for no more then 2 minutes when my phone rings again and it is now a PTO member wondering if I have the keys.  No I don't have the keys, why would I have the keys.  Let me check just to be sure.  Out I hobble to my car.  FLOCK OF SEAGULLS! I have the @#$%^&* keys, how do I have these keys!  I  text him and say give me 10 and I will be right there.  Much laughing ensues at the key exchange (none of it from me) and I am now on my way back home to prop my feet up and maybe brush my hair (as I forgot to after my shower as I fell asleep).  I am propped in bed, my hair is brushed, my ice has melted in my drink from hours ago and I turn on the TV. I find a show to watch and am laying back and relaxing when 30 minutes later the alarm on my phone goes off!  FLOCK OF SEAGULLS, FLOCK OF SEAGULLS, FLOCK OF SEAGULLS!!!  It is time to go to pick up Nathan at school.  I was just there!!!!  


I go get Nathan at school, we come home, parking in the driveway and he loves to do the whatachamahickey and we go inside to do homework , I get him a snack and then we get dressed for basketball practice....yes I am leaving yet again!!!   I never rested my ankles, never watched my show, never did any laundry, never did much of anything but drive, braless!


Want to trade days, I do!